For context, the singer has long been candid about first being diagnosed with bipolar disorder when they were a teen. They've also had physical health struggles, as they explained a few months ago that they've "been kind of sick most of [their] adult life" — especially after they gave birth to their first child, Ender, last year.
"I find that often there is a deep sadness inside me that no amount of worldly pleasure can touch, a loneliness, an emptiness," they began.
"I wonder often if I chose the wrong life for myself. And the weight of it is suffocating. I'm sorry that melancholy has penetrated my art in a way that hasn't served a greater purpose other than my own self-loathing."
She added that she is "just now exhaling and gasping for air for the first time since I took a single breath in this new life at 18" — potentially a reference to when she started in the music industry or serious mental health struggles at the time.
They continued, "I am wandering lawlessly and I hope to find my way somewhere meaningful soon so that I can give you the guys I've always known to scoop heapings of into your ears. They are shrivelling lately. If you cannot be kind, at least be gentle. With love."
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